![]() Now let’s get into this “salsa.” I don’t know who told Cheesecake Factory that salsa was supposed to be creamy but it’s not. I think that would have tied these together. They’re so sweet it’s almost a dessert, but it’s topped with some avocado and tomato, so it’s not a dessert, and also… I couldn’t help but feel like these were missing something. It’s not that the Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes are bad, they taste pretty good actually, with giant corn kernels embedded in sweet corn cakes, and the presentation is *chef’s kiss* but I don’t really get what the Factory was going for with these. Ranked lowest on our list is the Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes, a combination of sweet masa cakes topped with Sour Cream, Salsa, Avocado, and what the Factory calls “Salsa Verde,” which I’m going to get into in a bit because that deserves its own paragraph. Must-Skip Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes Dane Rivera You don’t go to this temple to gluttony to be healthy! Feel free to ignore calorie counts in the “great” and “must try” sections. I also listed the calories, which feels a little dickish of me. Hopefully, this will help the next time you find yourself at The Cheesecake Factory, frantically skimming through the menu and trying to settle on something before stuffing yourself full of bread (which I also ranked). You’ll see that I separated everything I tasted into five categories (which are also ordered, based on my preference) defined by whether or not you should prioritize ordering these dishes. There’s a certain cloak and dagger aspect among the latter group when it comes to identifying bestsellers, but they did steer me back on track in a few places. In order to get a nice variety and represent a mix of classics and cult favorites, I chose 25 items with help from other Uproxx staffers and The Cheesecake Factory team. There are over 250 permanent items served at the Cheesecake Factory, each one of them scratch-made (shout-out to kitchen staff). I was ready.Ģ5 dishes in one sitting certainly sounds like a lot, but let me reiterate to you just how massive this menu truly is. I had trained for this and now opportunity had collided with preparation. Except that my mountain would be one of carbs and sugar. For a food writer, this was like getting tapped to summit Everest. Apps, mains, sides, desserts - I was going to do it all in one wild, food coma-inducing sitting. I was assigned to hit up “The Factory” and try 25 different dishes, eating everything from spring rolls to pastas to actual cheesecakes. I was comfortable in my limited knowledge, blissfully ignorant - then everything changed. ![]() Or as game developer Max Krieger pointed out in a lengthy Twitter thread, it’s a “world of aesthetic chaos that feels like a mix between a Fry’s Electronics, an overgrown Panera and a laser tag arena.” Which has got to be the most spot-on description of The Cheesecake Factory vibe ever. ![]() ![]()
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